I was once asked how I could love someone that I didn’t trust. My initial response was that although I didn’t trust this person, I still cared for her well being enough to consider it love. I then spent a lot of time thinking about that question and all it encompassed. I came to the conclusion that I never knew what love was. How could I love someone and be in a relationship with her, when I only felt as strongly for her as I would a common friend? How could that possibly be the supposed awesomeness of “love”? Then it hit me… I never loved you. I’m sorry for ever incepting these thoughts into your mind. I now have been shown the light, and although I may not truely undersand the amazing power of love yet, I can see that this is far better than anything I have ever experienced. I’m falling… And I’m ok with it. :)

i want nothing more than to look deep into your eyes, the one place that i find peace. i love when you look back at me, for i know that for at least a second i’ve crossed your mind. i don’t know if you realize that every second i am with you, you make me feel like the luckiest man on the face of the earth. i long for your touch and dream of your soft lips. “take a look at me, so you can see how beautiful you are.”

Have you ever thought about freezing and boiling points of certain substances? like, water for instance. in cold temperatures, the molecules slow down and gather together in attempt of sharing warmth as mammals would to regain higher temperatures. once in higher temperatures, it’s molecules are waking up and moving around a bit, so they’re spreading out. and then it’s summertime and they’re running around playing like excited inner-children flying through clover fields. this got me thinking about solutions and the components: solutes, solvents, and whatnot… like, when you dissolve sugar in water, the sugar is at a slow solid state, so the water molecules who are waking up and moving around a bit surround the slow coddling sugar molecules creating a solution of compounded two. it was at this point that i realized that the compounding of elements at a molecular or even atomic levels is basically the same as dissolving substances forming molecular solutions. copper, tin, zinc, and phosphorous melted down and mixed together to make bronze is exactly the same as sugar and water, just with pure elements rather than compounds containing different elements. then i got to thinking about alloys such as aluminium/steel alloys. which would be the solvent and which the solute? well, of course the solvent would be that with a lower melting and boiling point, and vice versa for the remainder…. Side step from compounds and think about the temperature of the elements alone. colder temperatures lead to elements being in a solid state; raising temperatures direct toward liquid and then gaseous states. is 0 degrees kelvin the lowest freezing point recorded? what if an element is created that doesn’t freeze at 0 kelvin? is there a lower temperature, and with that being said, is there another state past freezing? and on the other end of the spectrum, think about the stars. stars are balls of burning gases. a gas that reached a temperature so hot that it burst into flames. fire is an element that has reached a high enough temperature that it changed into the state of plasm. fire emits light… is light elements that have reached temperatures so incredibly high that they are moving incredibly fast? “the speed of light”

-sorry guys, this is the physics nerd coming out of me. it doesn’t happen too often, but when it does i like to try and remember the shit i think up… what if it’s true? what if someone at a higher rank in society figures it out and proves it. i sure as hell won’t be recognized for thinking it up first, but at least i know i was right. could it really be that if you can imagine something then it has to be possible? like, if light really is a state of an element, and it’s the state past plasma and gas, would there be a state past light? magnets for instance…. how the fuck do they work?!… what if magnetism was an elemental state? imaginary state, solid, liquid, gas, plasma, light, electricity, magnetism…. if that were true, magnetic metals would simply be a solidus element containing atoms, or molecules of that element that are either in electrical or magnetic states…. 

….think about it….  

I’ve lusted and yearned as I entrusted then burned. I loved only to weep as increasing anger grew to keep. My hands are stained with the past. My shame will forever last, yet your eyes saw through it all vowing never to let me fall.

Never afraid to point out my flaws, never too tired to listen to my grief, never ashamed give life a pause to argue against disbelief. I love your honesty, patience, and ambition above no other. You’ve held me tall as would a mother.

A change for the better has embraced itself upon me. A path my own light had no intent to precede.Your smile brings light to my eyes even on the darkest of days. A favor I intend to die trying to repay.

I wish to bring happiness to your life in times of sorrow. To lend a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, or just simply a smile. A hand to hold, a light to guide. If ever needed, I’m by your side.

I honor the privilege to call you friend. I’d give my heart, my life, my soul to see you happy again. I’m lucky to have you in my life… to whatever extent that may be.

I’ve dealt with the dredges of society for far too long. I’ve seen and heard things that would make you go away for life. I’ve taken slack and never thrashed back in order to keep an honorable demeanor. I’ve picked up the pieces of your mistakes. I brought you back from depressing states. I’ve even taken the blame to prevent your shame…. Well, karma’s a bitch, and she’s gunning for you. I’m taking a step back this time and letting her through. I’ve tried to show you the light, yet darkness blinds too. It is what it is; sucks to be you.

Driving back from a shuttle run during this stupid parade today, I saw a big truck parked in the middle of the St. Mary/Cherry st. intersection with a bicycle laying next to it. I didn’t see anyone on the ground, so I assumed no one was hurt too badly. Wondering what exactly to do, I just sat there for a minute until the truck drove off. The bicyclist limped over to his bike, picked it up, then limped over to the side of the road and fell flat on his back. I immediately threw the shuttle in park and ran over to see if he was OK. He stood up as though he was embarrassed, and began rambling on about how he was fine, he had gotten hit multiple times before, and that this was the biggest vehicle that ever hit him. I offered him a ride to the hospital or even just a ride home, but he kept exclaiming that he was OK. He then proceeded to tell me that the driver gave him $10 for his troubles as he reached in and yanked out the driver’s radio wires (still, not comprehending how that happened)…. He stated again that he was OK, got on his bike and rode away.

Moral of the story: If you want to hit a hippy riding a bicycle, it’ll only cost you $10.

Just curious, why was our high school band stuck playing the eye of the tiger every pep rally?

rough day…

I would like to be anywhere outside of this cell of southern states that consumes our lives. I would love to visit Ireland and Greece.

Somewhat of a bad day for first posts, but here goes…

This is me stating that i officially give up. I give up on trying, searching, caring, wishing, waiting, dealing with your crap, being the nice guy, and playing your stupid games. My actions may define my character, but I am who I am today due to the massive amounts of shit thrown my way from people like you. Cold, black, empty, and heartless are common titles I’ve grown comfortable with, yet they hardly shine light on that which is me. This is me stating that I am above this, and I refuse to accept anything less than anything better than you.